Better Days
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” - Wayne Dyer.
I don’t think I’ve ever given a trigger warning to one of my reads, but I’m feeling it necessary today. In fact, there is a good possibility that this publication will be taken down and just tucked away for my own personal archives.
On the heels of my Noah Kahan high, I was once again reminded of the fragility of life. You always think you are ready for news, until you actually get it.
Boston holds a lot of memories for me, primarily that my late husband called it home. The last time I was in Boston was his discharge from Massachusetts General Hospital.
The collapse happened in Boston Logan Airport. There was the ambulance ride, 48 hours in an ER hallway, and then an almost 30-day stay on the oncology floor.
I’ve never been to a city hospital full of law-enforcement and patients in jumpsuits handcuffed to beds. It was a far cry from our bougie local Mayo Clinic. All of that didn’t matter, because MGH had outstanding care.
Michael came immediately and handled Abigail’s grueling commute from St Augustine through a summer hurricane. They are both champions for the family.
Not really knowing how to handle my landing in Logan last week, I just went for it. I beelined right over to the spot it happened. I sat in the chair. I looked at the terrazzo tile where I did that double over thing that you only see in the movies.
As I sat in that chair, I took deep breaths, and I whispered all the reasons I had to be grateful that this life altering event happened in Kev’s hometown. Mainly, he got to say his goodbyes. And MGH saved or at least extended his life. It didn’t take long for those grateful whispers to turn into a few tears. In no time, a nice man walked his service dog over to me and asked if I needed to pet him. I did.
I ended up learning the Boston Public Transit system inside out. You could even call me a city girl that August, maybe. I remember the doctor told me on day one that this was going to be a long journey. She told me to take my lunch every day down by the Charles River. I never did. I regret that.
I stayed with Kev’s lifelong best friend and his wife during that season. I stayed again with them just last week. They are family to me. I also had dinner with my sister-in-law, or I guess officially former sister-in-law. That’s just weird. I never realized, but when you lose a spouse, you sort of lose a whole family too. She will always be my sister-in-law, I’m declaring.
Day 3 of my trip, I dusted myself off and got to Fenway Park for the concert of a lifetime! I am thankful for spending time with my children there and for having such a fun night with my friend, Sara Civian.
As I boarded the plane home, I was more than ready to say goodbye to Boston and turn the page in my story. I’m not sure what this next chapter will bring, but I have some high hopes.
It’s critical that I leave Boston in Boston. I already had a quick set back this week where residual feelings of worry snuck back in. Loss is inevitable, but we can’t let that knowing hold us back from connection.
I have decided to take a chance and hedge all bets on a new beginning. Sure, it’s scary, but fear is the enemy of faith. God is not done writing my story, as He is not done writing yours either. The Lord is faithful, and the restorer of all good things. I believe that to be true.
Thank you for your subscription. I know this was not my usual piece. I promise better days are ahead.