Comfortable

Sebago Lake, Maine.

Being comfortable with not knowing is my current struggle.

Having been a teacher, mom, caregiver, and wife, my life revolved around the calendar. I know this is a new season, but this habit is hard to break.

Fluidity is not my go-to trait. I will get there. My overcoming, meanwhile, has touched people I care about in my life. I appreciate their patience. Growth is a constant, or so it seems. Maybe that is our purpose anyway.

Kevin was my partner, my covering, and my greatest love, to date.

There’s no doubt our rekindled romance changed a legacy.

I just recently sold our second car. Going to a one car household, and the administrative tasks to get there was a reach. I did not want to do it alone, but I did, and I am grateful to those who believed in my ability and independence.

Big goal. The highway! Kev insisted on always driving. Honestly, that makes me angry. I’m almost embarrassed to say that I hired someone to drive me back-and-forth from here to Maine. She’s delightful! She’s a Pet Transporter and I came along for the ride. It was perfect! I will keep you posted here.

Kev knew I loved ‘love’, and that I was wired to be in relationship. He was a Boston man. If you have been loved by a Boston man, you will know full well they can be harsh with their words, but they will come pull you out of a ditch at 3 AM in the morning.

I have contemplated our contrast. You see, I’m very in touch with my feelings. I am open and expressive, and I desire the same.

And I am not from Boston.

Being comfortable with not knowing. I will try. Like most of us, I am a work in progress.

If Kev could “be here,” he would cheer me on in this new direction. He would not be surprised. He might chuckle. He would definitely say, “Stephanie, give that man a break. He has an important job to do!”